


Thank You For Your Pity

by Mr_Waterworks



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Genocide, Humanstuck, I'm new to this, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Karkat - Freeform, M/M, Sadstuck, Self-Harm, eridan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 05:37:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10074590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Waterworks/pseuds/Mr_Waterworks
Summary: "Thank you for your pity, you are too kind."Karkat is worried enough about Eridan to do something horribly stupid.(A dumb one shot based on a song and a headcannon. Wish me luck.)





	

Eridan hadn't messaged you at all last night and that worried you. You two had been talking for a while over text, getting to know each other on different levels that you hadn't cared to explore when you were just friends. Or...just friendly acquaintances maybe? You weren't sure. Either way, as much as you tried not to be, you were really fucking worried.

You couldn't concentrate at all today. School was almost unbearable for you.

"You sick or something?" Sollux had asked you in between classes. "You look like shit. Like, shittier than usual."

"I'm fine, Sollux. I just didn't sleep much last night." You replied, on the edge of not even listening to him.

Your thoughts were still with that hipster douchebag who hadn't bothered to message you at all. You had been checking your shitty old flip phone all day, waiting for him to come at you with some sort of explanation as to why he hadn't even bothered to check in with you. As Sollux shrugged and walked away, you decided that you should wait until the end of the day before doing anything stupid. Maybe he was busy. However, against your better judgement, you pulled out your phone.

Hey Eridan. You texted him. You stuffed it into your pocket and prayed to god that he would reply.

Hours went by and in between each of them, you checked your notifications. Nothing.

As you sat out in front of the school, waiting for Kankri to pick you up, you wondered what the fuck was going on with Eridan. You were pretty sure it was nothing, but something about you took this really seriously and you were still trying to figure out why. You glanced over at a few of your friends who had gathered next to you, talking and dicking around as they normally did. You didn't't want to join them. You were too worried.

Kanaya was among them. You saw her glance up at you from afar, and cock her head, concerned. You gave her a reluctant half smile to try and convince her you were okay. She nodded slowly and turned back to the little group.

You looked up as you heard a car horn. Seeing that it was Kankri in the beaten up pickup truck, you grabbed your backpack and run out to meet him. You climbed into the front seat and proceeded to look out the window to avoid any conversation.

"So how was school?" Kankri asked as the car lurched forward. You huffed. He couldn't take a god damn hint.

"Fine." You muttered.

Uncomfortable silence. It was quiet except for the rigorous tapping of your foot that you couldn't control. It was a nervous habit. You needed to see that asshat as soon as possible or you were going to explode, you were sure of it. His dumb pretentious private school wasn't far away... Maybe if you asked nicely.

You slid down in your seat, internally groaning. That would have been stupid. You would have gotten beaten up or looked at funny if you went anywhere near there. You were visibly poor and you didn't wanna draw any attention to yourself. But still, the risk would have been worth it to know that Eridan was alright.

You sighed.

"Kankri, could you drop me off at the library? I've gotta study for some stuff."

Kankri looked at you for a minute before nodding.

"I don't see why not."

"Thanks."

You inhaled, knowing your mission. Sea Crest Academy was within walking distance of the library, and hopefully you could get there in time to catch him. You didn't know his schedule at all, or wether or not he would even be there, but it was worth a shot. If all else failed, you could just hang out in the library and text him again.

Eventually, you pulled up in front of the tall and looming library. You barely gave Kankri a wave as you grabbed your backpack and got out of the car. You cautiously watched your brother drive away as you walked up the steps.

Once the truck had disappeared, you dropped your backpack and made a break for it.

You ran as fast as your little legs would carry you, praying that nothing bad would happen. You didn't want to embarrass yourself either, but some stupid part of you needed to know that Eridan was okay. He was just as badly off as you were in the emotional health department and you just needed to know.

You rounded the corner, and there it was, only a few yards away. Eridan's school looked just as big and pretentious and stupid as you remembered. You'd passed by it in the car a couple of times, but as you crossed the street towards it, your heart pounded in your chest, ringing in your ears. Most of the students were flooding out the doors and streaming out in different directions and you tried really hard to avoid everyone as you scanned to place for Eridan.

Your breathing grew quicker and heavier, the more time you spent looking for him. You felt eyes on you, regardless of wether or not they were actually there, but the longer you stood, and the more you panicked, the realer the judgement felt. You tried to picture what you could remember of Eridan from shitty selfies but you still saw no one. Should you just go into the school and look for him, instead of standing out in front of it like an idiot?

You were almost gasping for air, feeling more and more like you weren't supposed to be there. Just find Eridan. Don't be anxious, you can do it, just fucking find him.

Your stomach twisted and tangled into all sorts of awful knots as you dodged students in expensive uniforms, trying to make yourself as small as possible so you wouldn't be noticed. You tried to breathe slowly as you searched for Eridan until finally...

There.

It was Eridan Ampora without a doubt, standing at the top of the stairs into the school. In all of his hipster-y douchey glory. He was tall and thin, looking as though the slightest breeze would knock him over. Over his uniform, he wore a blue scarf, wound tightly around his neck. His head was lifted, scanning the street for his ride as he shifted uncomfortably in the almost-summer heat.

You stood looking at him for a bit. You laughed nervously under your breath. So he hadn't died or anything, and that was good. You turned to leave, willing to just go home and call it a done deal. But somehow, you couldn't bring yourself to go. You turned back to Eridan, seeing, even from a few yards away, how thin and gaunt his face looked and the dark bags under his eyes behind his glasses. You breathed in, knowing you'd be up all night if you didn't at least go up and say hi.

You cursed your own stupidity as you approached the boy at the top of the stairs. You got closer, getting more worried as Eridan came further into view. When was the last time this fucker had eaten?

You stood at the bottom of the stairs, in front of Eridan, still unnoticed.

"Hey." You said, voice slightly raised. "Eridan."

It took him a second, but when Eridan looked down at you, he blinked for a moment. Then it hit him that his friend that he'd only ever spoken to over Skype on a school computer was standing right in front of him. His jaw dropped a little, hanging open as you hesitantly made your way up the stairs.

"What..." Eridan breathed, barely able to speak. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, gee, you didn't message me all fucking day and it may or may not have just worried the shit out of me to the point where it could be considered fear induced dysentery." You huffed, sticking your hands in your pockets to hide that they were shaking. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Oh..." Eridan mumbled quietly, "this is about the fact that I didn't have any time to text you?" His face scrunched up as he came down from his baffled state. "You came all the way over here just to scold me for somethin' like that?"

"Well...yeah!" You retorted. "I'm your friend and one of the responsibilities of that position is to make sure you're okay and call you out when you're being an asshole. And by coming here and "scolding" you, or whatever the fuck, I'm doing both."

Eridan shook his head, snarling as he pushed past you.

"Well, thanks." He muttered, walking away. "You've done your job."

You stood there, dumbfounded. You had ran all this way and almost had a panic attack to be greeted with this? Eridan walking away from you? Eridan refusing your help? Since when did that happen? Usually Eridan would be up for hours spamming you with messages, just to get your attention. This was in no way like him.

Ripping your hands out of his pockets, and tearing down the steps after Eridan, you felt your face heat up.

"Hey, dumbass!" You exclaimed, unafraid of yelling at Eridan now that most of the students had left the campus. "Since when does your sorry desperate self walk away like that? Are your stripey hipster pants in a twist, or are you so insufferably stupid that you're not accepting help when you obviously need it? You look terrible!"

"Piss off, Kar." Eridan replied over his shoulder.

At that, you could have cried. You ran up behind Eridan and tried to grab his shoulder, but missed. Your hand slipped and instead hooked onto the scarf, accidentally pulling it off.

"What the-?!" Eridan exclaimed, whirling around as he covered his neck with his hands. He stared at you, visibly upset and standing wordlessly under him, breathing heavily with the scarf in one hand.

"Fuckin' hell, Kar." Eridan said quietly, getting angrier as his hands trembled around his neck.

"Why are you doing that?" You asked, gripping the scarf tighter. "What's wrong with your neck?"

As Eridan's face shifted, your heart beat more quickly. Oh god.

You knew exactly what was happening, and good lord, you wish you had noticed it sooner.

"I need to go home, Karkat, I've got things to do." Eridan muttered, "And give me my fuckin' scarf, that thing's expensive."

You inhaled slowly, gripping his scarf tightly in your hands. You'd let him go, but you had to do something first. You walked up to Eridan, reached up, and grabbed his shoulder, ignoring his protests as you led him to the side of the stairs.

Partially hidden by a few unkempt bushes, you were inches away from each other, Eridan looking down at you through his glasses. His jaw was clenched shut as his whitening knuckles stayed clasped around his throat. At this rate, he'd probably choke himself.

You sighed, reaching up and placing your hands on top of his. You felt him relax at your touch, and you took the opportunity to gently pry his ringed fingers away from his throat. His hands tightened around yours as you looked.

His throat was riddled with little scratches and cuts, some fairly fresh, and others looked as if they had been there for a while. You looked up at him as you noticed a tear trickle down his chin. He was shaking and you could tell that he was trying so hard not to cry, but he just couldn't do it.

"Hey hey, it's okay." You told him quietly, "I know how you feel, its okay."

"It's...it's just really f-fuckin' difficult, Kar." He whispered, visibly trembling as he tried to stop the tears.

You grimaced, feeling somewhat responsible. You knew he went through some stuff, but the kid was so entitled. You didn't think some one like that could ever really get that fucked up. Eridan was a whiny kid, but you supposed this was what was hiding behind it. He tried so hard to be something he wasn't, and he fell in love too often, and you can't remembered if he'd ever smiled.

You just didn't really notice it. Not until last night, and especially not until now.

"Life will get less shitty eventually..." You muttered. "And if you ever killed yourself, that'd be kinda terrible and knowing me, I'd blame myself for it. Because as much as I hate admitting it, I really care about you, even though you're a ridiculous toolbag."

"I'm not tryin' to kill myself, Kar." he replied with a huff, even though more tears were spilling down his face, "I just...I'm just really angry all the time. And taking it out on myself is a hell of a lot easier than plottin' to burn this godawful place to the ground. Though if I did go, I'm not sure it'd make much of a difference."

You sighed, reluctantly squeezing his hand. He looked kind of pathetic now, with his face all pink and his cheeks slightly glistening with tears. His glasses were fogging up a bit around his nose. You shook your head at how childish he looked, despite how much he tried to seem like an adult.

He looked down into your eyes with a knitted brow before breathing in deeply.

"Kar?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I kiss you?"

You were taken aback for a second.

"I..." You answered, lost for words. You weren't going to let him kiss you if you weren't dating. That was just. No. That wasn't how it worked because you weren't in love with him and you didn't kiss someone unless you were in love with them. "I don't like you like that, we're not dating."

"Kar, I'm not asking you to run away with me and get married, I just want a kiss." He sighed, "In case you haven't noticed, I kind of have a crush on you. And I know by now, that quite literally everyone I know has no interest in me, so I won't ask you to do anything else, just... please. I just want to feel wanted for a sec."

You were a little baffled, but not all that surprised. Eridan probably had a bit of a crush on everyone you knew. You sighed, figuring you had already hauled your ass over here and lost a night of sleep for him. So what more would a kiss do?

"Fine." you muttered, barely able to believe you were going to do this for him.

He didn't say anything as he squeezed your hands as a thank you. He leaned in and you closed your eyes as your lips touched in a soft peck. You could feel him shaking as his hand moved to hold the back of you head. You had to stand on your tiptoes a little bit. He took your bottom lip into his mouth for a second, gently tangling his fingers into your hair before pulling away.

You opened your eyes after a second, almost laughing out loud as you noticed Eridan was crying again. He put one hand over his mouth, pulling himself together before you could say anything. He was pathetic and it was adorable.

"So..." You started, not really sure of what to do now that your friend had just smooched you after letting you see his self harm scars. "Do you want me to suck your dick too, or are you done?"

"It's fine." He replied, his face still pink, but this time because of an obvious blush. "Now Cronus is gonna be wondering where the hell I am, thanks a lot. And give me my fuckin' scarf."

"Well, fuck you too then!" You scoffed as he snatched his scarf away from you. "You were the one who wanted to waste all your precious time swapping saliva with me and crying like a silver spoon-fed toddler, you prick."

Eridan shook his head, winding his scarf back around his neck. You didn't say it, but you felt a lot better now that you knew what was wrong. Now you just had to hope he'd be okay. He was too good of a kid to be lost to all of that stuff inside of him. You didn't want him to end up as a sad story in the obituary, and if you couldn't be in love with him, you would at least be his friend.

But as he walked away from you, heading off to wherever he was going, you wondered. He needed someone like you, but maybe you'd come to want someone like him. He wasn't too terrible of a kisser after all.

You sighed, shaking your head and remembering how you had stupidly left your backpack on the steps of the library.

"Wait up, asshat." You said, as you ran to catch up with him. "You're coming with me."

 


End file.
